Destination, Direction, Desire

Thursday, June 14, 2012

Life is a giant maze. You can only know the right directions if you see it from above. 

I have always perceived my life as a maze. I believe life in this world has plotted a big maze for us. There is a complex network of paths and passages, sometimes dead ends. I know there is a very long way ahead of me. I can feel that sense of eternity set before me and yet there is only so much that I can grasp and see.

In my maze, those paths and passages designate plans, decisions, obstacles, trials, all things we go through in life. Which to take? Where do I go? Which path is the best? Again, seeing only so much, I never know. The only thing I know is, one destination awaits. and I need to be heading to that destination.

Walking my maze, I have had feelings of being lost. I had been caught up in dead ends, stuck overwhelmed in the darkest corners, ran back and forth heading nowhere and gone off course. I only found my way when God pulled me back in the right track. Of course, He sees my maze from above. He sees everything, he sees where I am, and where I should be going. Having directions from Him, my crazy maze became a beautiful and exciting adventure. Since then, it sad always been so progressive. It has been amazing how God surprises me along the paths I take. I always see checkpoints and turning points that makes the adventure better and better. Of course, it isn't constantly perfect. 

Along the way, I tend to get diverted, I tend to lost my focus on God-given directions and start to follow my own path. I know that somewhere in this maze, in my maze, Eiffel Tower stands. Or that academic achievement on the other end. and even material things that need to be gained along the way. The distractions are not even about of the number of paths to choose from. or the kinds of obstacles being offered to me. Sometimes, interruption simply comes from my own personal desires. Strong desires. It is when I start to insist before God my "seemed-to-be" right path. Unfortunately, the intensity of the adventure that God gives makes me go ahead of Him. I just want to fast forward this journey. "God, I want you to take me there, NOW!" or "God, I want this, NOW." 

Yes. I have personal desires. My dreams that I badly want to achieve. I have tried forcing my own path, my own direction, my own power, just for me to get there. How about digging holes and breaking walls? When all these ways (my ways) fail, I would stop. I stop, and seeing only an empty path, blurry path before me, I would resort to doubts, anxieties and worries.  So overwhelmed with the uncertainties.

There is a destination. But, what has been my driving force in reaching that destination? What and who drives me? Is it my selfish desires? God's desires? I realized, even if I reach my destination, apart from Him, I will never be fulfilled. Never contented. Never satisfied.

One night, God randomly showed me Kuya Perci's status: 
...You are the author of time and seasons, and I respect the season you have given me more that the desires of my own heart.Perci Paras 
It was a humbling reminder. God looks down at me and smiles, "Didn't I tell you to walk by Faith and never by sight?"..."How about my promises?" "For I know the plans I have for you,” declares the Lord, “plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future." "There is surely a future hope for you, and your hope will not be cut off. "

It is wonderful how God reminded me of my beautiful destiny in Him. Beautiful destiny that is more than what I have imagined. Wonderful desires beyond what I can desire for myself. I realized, for me to make the most out of this maze, I must desire God. I must desire Him more than that destination. I will seek Him all of my days. I must Desire God more than the delights of the journey (His Love is better than life. Psalm 63:3). I must Desire Him, God and God alone.  
Delight yourself in the LORD and he will give you the desires of your heart.  Psalms 37:4
Whom have I in heaven but you? And earth has nothing I desire besides you. Psalm 73:25  
One thing I ask of the LORD, this is what I seek: that I may dwell in the house of the LORD all the days of my life, to gaze upon the beauty of the LORD and to seek him in his temple. Psalm 27:4
Wait for the LORD; be strong and take heart and wait for the LORD Psalm 27:14 
I have fought the good fight, I have finished the race, I have kept the faith. 2 Timothy 4:7

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